The Most Unexpected & Utterly Amazing Gift!

Just seven months ago, I would have said that this 'gift' would never be possible for me to receive...

The only person, besides me, who has any idea of how truly horrible my marriage was in so many ways was my mother. I was able to talk to her about most of it... But there were some things even she did not know. My Father in Heaven knows... The word horrible or bad or destructive or- well, there are many specifics in my life's experiences that are best left to the past. But the one thing I can say with utmost certainty is that my marriage destroyed my ability to totally trust anyone besides my parents, my children, and my Father in Heaven. Even my closest friends, though mostly trusted, were not immune to my doubts at times. 

This is something about myself that I have not liked... But it was reinforced as an essential survival skill in my life each time I dated anyone... Every one of the men I associated with over all the years betrayed my trust in one way or another. And please don't even get me started on the multitude of men I met but wouldn't date... Very much untrustworthy!

And then tonight, while talking to Luke, I realized that he has given me the most amazing gift just by virtue of the man that he is... I TOTALLY TRUST HIM IN EVERY WAY! I know that he will never intentionally hurt me. In fact, He has gone out of his comfort zone to make sure that some things are better for me. And this will not stop after we are married or in a few months or even in many years. I know I will always trust him because he will always earn that trust!

For some this may seem a small thing, but for me and my experiences in life, this is an amazing gift and a great miracle!